My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

Recently on the radio I heard a commercial advertisement by a travel agency promoting the attractions of having a "destination wedding." One website promoting their staff as "destination wedding experts" tries to entice brides and grooms to say their vows "in a beautiful destination far away" and invites them to imagine "the waves lapping the shore behind you as you stare into the eyes of your beloved. You're surrounded by family and friends who have spent beautiful days together relaxing in paradise." Well, they have probably also spent a lot of money to get there!

This description of a destination wedding might sound romantic, but it is not very Catholic, because the word "Catholic" means universal, which conveys a sense of being more inclusive rather than exclusive. A Catholic wedding includes the community of faith, not just an exclusive and private party for those few family members and friends who have the time and money to travel with the bride and groom to their favorite exotic resort in some distant location. A destination wedding is inconsiderate of the guests because it expects them to make a considerable investment of time and money to get to the wedding or it excludes those who are unable or unwilling to make this expenditure of time and financial resources. A more considerate approach is to celebrate the wedding locally and use the honeymoon as the opportunity for the bride and groom to go off by themselves to some desirable destination of their liking.

According to church law, marriages are normally to be celebrated in the parish where either the bride or groom has a domicile or residence. By way of exception in certain circumstances, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere with the permission of the local bishop, his representative or the proper pastor (canon 1115). More specifically, marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic party is to be celebrated in a parish church; with the permission of the local bishop or his representative or the proper pastor, it can be celebrated in another church or oratory. The local bishop or his representative can permit marriage to be celebrated in some other suitable place in particular circumstances. Likewise, marriage between a Catholic party and a non-baptized party can be celebrated in a church or in some other suitable place (canon 1118).

The reason for these requirements is to preserve the value that holy matrimony is a sacrament of the church which the bride and groom are celebrating in the context of prayer and in which they are exchanging vows made to Almighty God in the presence of the church's minister (that is, a priest or deacon) and the community of faith, not a private event for the enjoyment of the parties. Exceptions can be permitted if there is a just and reasonable cause, such as the marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic taking place in a non-Catholic place of worship.

Permission for such marriages is not to be granted unless the following conditions have been fulfilled: (1) the Catholic party declares that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of falling away from the faith and makes a sincere promise to do all in his or her power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church; (2) the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time of these promises which the Catholic party has to make, so that it is clear that the other party is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party; (3) both parties are to be instructed on the essential ends and properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either party (canon 1125).

In his profound Apostolic Exhortation on the role of the Christian family in the modern world, Pope Saint John Paul II wrote, "The institution of marriage is not an undue interference by society or authority, nor the extrinsic imposition of a form. Rather it is an interior requirement of the covenant of conjugal love which is publicly affirmed as unique and exclusive, in order to live in complete fidelity to the plan of God, the Creator" (Familiaris consortio, 11).

Couples therefore should not see the refusal to grant permission for a destination wedding or a wedding in some private setting as an arbitrary denial of a personal entitlement, but are invited to understand the deeper significance of their matrimonial commitment in relation to God our Creator and the broader community of faith beyond their close relatives and personal friends. The church building itself is a sacred place dedicated to God and therefore helps to symbolize the desire of the couple for Jesus to be present at their wedding as he and his Blessed Mother were present at the wedding feast of Cana.

May God give us this grace. Amen.