Years of historical study have not kept me from being amazed by current trends. But I was shocked by the advertisement in our local paper offering to use cremains, the ashes after cremation, to make a diamond to be worn in memory of the deceased. Funeral practices change with new technologies and are widely diverse among countries and cultures but the Catholic Church living among all these has a faith that seeks to honor the diversity while preserving God's revelation in Christ. I hope my surprise is actually a feature of my Catholic faith in the resurrection of the body.
In addition to the centuries-old practice of saving a lock of hair from the deceased, you now can suspend a portion of the cremains in glass to be worn as a piece of jewelry or used as an art object. Or you can have a key ring made preserving the finger prints of your loved one.
There are special albums for pictures and DVD or video memories to be created. There are special poems and prayers that avoid the name of God so they can be used by believers and unbelievers alike. Some funeral homes also offer rituals for those who practice no religion. Candle lighting, group recitation of poems, viewing a DVD together, and listening to special musical selections substitute for or supplement religious rites. Occasionally, there is a request for snacks and drinks to be served as well.
My question as a pastor is how to express the faith of our church in the resurrection of the body in the midst of these changing funeral practices.
The practice of our church is to treat the body of the deceased with the same respect as we would if the person were still alive. The body is the place where the Holy Trinity has dwelt in spirit since the person's baptism. We bring it to church for Mass to celebrate our faith that receiving the Lord's Body and Blood promises resurrection and eternal life (John 6:53-58). The body is incensed to show our respect for the dwelling place of God. Then the body is buried or may be cremated.
Ashes or cremains are to be treated like the body and buried in a single container in the earth or at sea. The ashes are not to be scattered or divided among the mourners. Prayers for the deceased are offered to remember the person before God; whomever God remembers shares life with God.
Funeral practices are shaped by culture and those who prepare the funeral tend to use the most familiar cultural practices. Our civil culture is more Protestant than Catholic. Four hundred years ago Protestants rejected praying for the deceased and celebrate funerals only for the sake of the survivors. Catholics have preserved the earliest Christian practice of remembering the deceased before God. Catholics celebrate funerals as assistance to both the living and the dead.
Children who do not go to church often prepare the funerals for parents who do, and sadly they often conform the funeral rites to the culture rather than the faith. Similarly, the practice of holding on to the person rather than giving the person lovingly into the eternal care of God results in contemporary attempts to hold on even to ashes and make them into temporary reminders of the loved ones' presence.
Tragically, there was a recent case of cremains being stored for three years at a local police station after they were found in the trunk of a used car that had been sold. Recently, the ashes were discovered to be those of a woman from California whose loved ones had lost track of her remains.
Funeral practices will continue to change. The Catholic Church only recently accepted cremation as a practice as long as doing so does not deny the resurrection of the body. As a pastor, I recognize I must rely upon the whole People of God to assure our faith in the resurrection will be expressed in the funerals we celebrate.
As a believing Catholic I realize preparation of my own funeral in advance is one way to let others know of my own desire to practice my faith even in the hour of my death.
Father Richard Chiola is a certified counselor, pastor of St. Cabrini Parish in Springfield and diocesan director for the ongoing formation of clergy.