Father John Beveridge, pastor at Ss. Peter and Paul Parish, Collinsville, talked about “Marriage and the Lord” to couples at a Remarriage Workshop in early October at the parish. Another Remarriage Workshop is planned for March.

COLLINSVILLE - Ss. Peter and Paul Parish began a new program this fall to help couples preparing for, or in second marriages, after being a widow or widower, or having received a declaration of nullity for a previous marriage.

Ariel Martin is a pastoral minister at the Collinsville parish, where she serves as an advocate, helping people go through the Tribunal process.

"In doing this, I realized if the Catholic Church is going to recognize second or more marriages as a sacrament, then we also have the responsibility to help couples in the formation of a successful marriage," said Martin, the project coordinator for the Oct. 4 Remarriage Workshop.

After talking with Father John Beveridge, Ss. Peter and Paul pastor, reviewing what Msgr. John Ossola had done in the Springfield area to address the need, and working with the diocesan Office for Marriage and Family Life, Martin assembled a team of presenters - six couples who had experienced divorce and sought a declaration of nullity joined Father Beveridge.

The topics they addressed included communicating, blended families, finance and estate planning, marriage in the Lord, spirituality in marriage, and sexuality and intimacy.

The presenters, as well as the six couples who attended the first workshop, were from different age groups. Some had grown children, others had young children. Presenters were: Karen and Scott Splaingard, Karen and Steve Meyer, Brad and Camile Emig-Hill and Vic and Debbie Tidball, all from Collinsville, and Patrick O'Toole, director of the diocesan Office for Marriage and Family Life, and his wife, Danielle, from Morrisonville.

 "From an advocate's perspective of working with people going through the Tribunal process, many of them have already married (civilly) again. When someone comes in for a declaration of nullity for a previous marriage, we work with them to discern what made their previous marriage invalid, and help them understand what constitutes a valid marriage," Martin said. "Without this understanding, they're no more prepared for this marriage than they were for their previous marriage. In these workshops, we want to close that gap. We want to help people understand what this legal process was that just occurred, and what does it mean to them."  

The remarriage team in Collinsville so far is the only one in the diocese, but O'Toole hopes to assemble other teams throughout the diocese to do workshops.

"We hope to have at least four remarriage workshops available in the year, in Springfield, the Alton deanery, Quincy and Effingham," said O'Toole.

Anyone interested in getting involved in this ministry should contact O'Toole at the Catholic Pastoral Center (217) 698-8500, ext. 121.

"The topics germane to marriage don't change from preparation for a first marriage," O'Toole said. "What changes is there are added issues - things like ‘my money and my kids' inheritance,' who pays/writes checks for alimony. Stepchildren are a huge issue."

Martin thinks workshops for people in second marriages are long overdue. "One of the most important things that we do in life is to get married. It affects everything we do. It affects our entire society. Yet in the Catholic Church, we are the least prepared for, the least educated when it comes to entering second marriages," said Martin. "Since we do look upon marriage as a sacrament, we have a real responsibility here."