I have to admit that my daughter and her fiance are very involved in their church — in fact, they lead Bible studies. They made the decision not to live together before being married because of their deep moral convictions.

I grew up during the era when we were taught that the Catholic Church was the only church. So I toss and turn at night and struggle every day with how to show my daughter love and support as she plans her wedding, even though I am hurting inside. I don't want to damage our relationship nor do anything that would spoil her big day. Any advice would be appreciated. (St. Paul, Minn.)

A Like you, I believe that the Catholic Church is the true church, that for all its human faults it is — among the Christian religions — the closest approximation to what Jesus came to establish and thus (especially because of the sacraments) the most effective way to salvation.

Daily I thank God that I am a Catholic. Like you, I would be deeply saddened if I had a daughter and she decided to leave the embrace of the Catholic Church.

At the same time, the church acknowledges that there are elements of sanctification and of truth in other religions, including non-Christian ones. That is to say, it is possible that people can reach heaven without being Catholic.

Referencing the Second Vatican Council, the Catechism of the Catholic Church points out in No. 819 that the word of God and the life of grace can be found in other religions and that "Christ's Spirit uses these churches and ecclesial communities as means of salvation."

I would forego, certainly, for now, any attempt to talk your daughter out of her religious choice. You've made your feelings known. She is an adult and has made her decision.

If I were you I would be comforted, even excited, by the fact that she is actively putting her faith to work and that she is living out her moral convictions. I am confident that she is on the path to heaven, so you can peacefully leave the rest in God's hands and sleep soundly while you continue to show your daughter the love and respect for her that you clearly feel.